


Forever

by aloha_cowgirl



Category: Supernatural
Genre: First Kiss, M/M, Newly Human Castiel (Supernatural), Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-26
Updated: 2019-07-26
Packaged: 2020-07-20 01:07:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19983532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aloha_cowgirl/pseuds/aloha_cowgirl
Summary: Based on the lyrics of Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls.





	Forever

[Inspired by Kina Grannis's cover of Iris (The Goo Goo Dolls)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xqZME0u3sco)

* * *

Forever.

That’s what Castiel was willing to sacrifice. Forever.

Forever didn’t matter anymore. Not if forever meant that he had to sacrifice now. Because this… this was better. This was better than an eternity in Heaven alone.

He painted the warding sigils with a quiet confidence. He’d be trapped inside this abandoned warehouse as long as the sigils were there, trapped and powerless, but the rest of the angels would be locked out. They didn’t understand. They thought he was broken—a defect that needed fixing.

But maybe… Maybe he was meant to be broken. Maybe _this_ was God’s plan.

As he finished the last and most important sigil in the center of the floor, he took a deep breath. His human lungs reminded him of the astounding effort the humans put forth just to _live_ —and of how worth it living _was_.

He sat on the dusty floor, alone in the dark for hours. He stretched his wings out behind him, dark singed feathers falling to the floor behind him. The weight of the warding was wearing heavy on him and his body ached.

He pulled his broken phone from his pocket and had to stop himself from praying for a savior. At least, the angels wouldn’t find him, though he wasn’t sure the humans even knew to look for him.

He closed his eyes tightly and waited as the sigils surrounding him glowed softly. It was time.

When Dean finally opened the door to the warehouse hours later, the streetlight cast a long strip of light across the floor. The warding sigils painted across the door gave him hope, and he followed the illuminated path through the dark.

When the light had stretched as far as it could reach, Dean was engulfed in the darkness. As his eyes adjusted, he realized the floor was littered with dark feathers. He kneeled, brushing his fingers over one gently, as though maybe Cas could still feel it. He hoped he wasn’t too late.

A soft gasp brought Dean back to his feet, shoving the feather into his pocket as he retrieved the angel blade. But the blade clattered to the floor when he saw the slumped figure in the corner. He slid to his knees when he reached him, hurrying to gather the angel into his arms, cradling him to his own chest in relief. “Cas!”

The angel shifted in his arms, holding on to Dean’s shoulder weakly. “I’m—I’m sorry,” he gasped. “I had to, Dean. I couldn’t let them. I can’t go back.”

They sat together on the dusty floor, Dean stroking the back of Castiel’s hair while the angel rested his head over the hunter’s racing heart. “Cas, what happened?”

Dean could feel the rise and fall of Castiel’s chest, but he had no idea how meaningful the motion was.

Castiel sat up, now staring into green eyes. His own eyes burned with threatening tears as emotions crashed down over him. This was it. This was the end of the process. He kept his eyes on Dean’s as he carefully stood, stretching what was left of his wings widely before they burst into brilliant white flames.

Dean fell backward, holding himself upright with one hand as the other shielded his eyes. “CAS!”

Just as quickly as it had happened, they were dropped back into the darkness.

Dean crawled forward, searching blindly. “Cas! C’mon Cas, buddy… please tell me you’re okay… Cas, please…” His concerned yell had dwindled into a whisper as he reached out for him. “Cas… c’mon…I need you.”

It was Castiel that found Dean in the darkness. “Dean!”

Dean’s voice was shaky as he reached out for him. “Cas! What the hell was that?”

As Castiel took Dean’s callused hands, holding tightly, he knew that he’d made the right choice… because it was _his_ choice.

“Dean… I—I did it.”

Dean pulled him into a tight embrace. “I thought… I thought I’d lost you!”

When Dean released him, their eyes locked in the dim light and Castiel could see the fear and relief fighting for control over his face.

“I fell, Dean.”

Dean stared, confused, trying to digest the two little words, but Castiel grabbed those callused hands again to explain before Dean could argue. “I fell. Because broken or not, I know _this_ is where I belong. This… this is where I want to be. With you. All of you.”

“Cas… Heaven? The angels? Is this—are we worth it?”

Castiel smiled. This answer was simple. “We are.”

Dean let it all sink in. In a dark warehouse, holding the hands of the man who had just given up an eternity in Heaven for him, it felt surreal. Castiel had made his choice. And now, it was time that Dean made his.

He stepped forward, close enough to feel warm breath against his jaw. He slowly slid his hands from the former-angel’s hands, moving as though time didn’t exist anymore. His fingers traced the bones of his wrists, the muscles of his forearms, the crook of his elbow in an unhurried reverie. They swept over biceps and shoulders, sliding across a now wingless back, before fitting neatly below his ears as he cupped Castiel’s face. Just as slowly, just as gently, his lips found Castiel’s.

Castiel wondered how a touch so barely there could make him feel so much.

“You’re not broken,” Dean whispered into Castiel’s ear. “I’d gladly give up forever for you too.”


End file.
